


Built for Comfort

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Tumblr Prompts [49]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 11:57:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Alec is surprised at how natural it is for him to seek out comfort and reassurances now, when the very idea mere months ago would've filled him with shame.





	Built for Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Could you maybe write Alec talking to Magnus about how now he can ask for comfort without feeling ashamed/embarrassed or not even having to ask? And Alec making sure they will never be like that with their kids?

 Days like this are a rare luxury for both Alec and Magnus recently. Though no longer plagued with constant drama and a world-ending crisis at every turn, it isn’t as if the Head of the New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn have a lot of free time, even when they aren’t strictly on duty. But now, sitting in the summer sun on a bench in Central Park, watching people walk their dogs and children play tag in the stretch of grass between the walking paths, it’s so easy to let the rest of the world and all of its obligations fade away, even just for an hour or two. 

Alec’s gaze falls on a brother and sister rolling around in the grass, laughing as they wrestle each other to the ground. Their clothing will surely be grass stained and dirty, but when their mother comes over it isn’t to scold them, but to crouch down and wrap them both up in her arms.

It’s an image Alec comes back to over and over that day, reliving the moment in his mind long after they’re back home and getting ready for bed. Lost in his own thoughts he doesn’t hear Magnus say his name, or come up beside him with a concerned frown. In fact, he’s entirely unaware of Magnus’ presence in the room again until he sits next to Alec on the bed and wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls him in tight without saying a word.  

“Thank you, Magnus.” Alec says the words with such a intense relief that Magnus raises an eyebrow. 

“You don’t have to thank me for hugging my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure this comes with the territory, like it or not.” 

Alec just nods, and it’s clear by the look on his face that he’s thinking of something more than a simple hug. 

“What’s on your mind?” Magnus asks. 

“Sometimes I’m still not used to this. Knowing that if I just need someone to comfort or reassure me, you’re always right there, no questions asked, no expectations. I can’t remember a time before now when I didn’t feel embarrassed about just needing to be held.” Alec pauses, gathering his thoughts a moment as he builds up to a bigger point. Magnus knows better than to interrupt him when he grows contemplative like this, the moments few and far between, and too easy to ruin by saying the wrong thing and sending Alec retreating back into his head. 

“It’s just-- I never really had this sort of support before,” he admits, feeling silly speaking the words. “It isn’t that my parents didn’t love me - I know that they did. But they never showed it, not in any of the ways that you expect as a child growing up. We didn’t kiss, we didn’t even hug. And we knew better than to ask for it, let alone expect it. Emotions were a weakness more often than not... sometimes it’s impossible to be raised in the lifestyle of a soldier and not carry that over into your home life, too.” 

Magnus listens, and though Alec can tell he wants to say  _ something _ about that he keeps silent for now. 

“It was never ‘I love you’ when you did something, it was ‘good job’, or ‘I’m proud of you’ if you were lucky. But even those were pretty rare, because you could always do better.” Alec bites on the corner of his bottom lip without really noticing, thoughts drifting to memories of piano practices or sparring sessions during which he gave it his all just to get a lecture on the one minuscule thing he missed instead of praise for the dozens he got right. 

He knows he should be thankful, and he is, to an extent. His parents pushed him to be the absolute best version of himself, and if they hadn’t he wouldn’t be half the Shadowhunter he is now, and he certainly wouldn’t be Head of the Institute. Perhaps it wasn’t ideal for a little boy who just wanted a hug instead of an iratze after losing a fight at the age of 5, even if it served him well in other areas. 

That doesn’t mean it’s a tradition he wants to carry on, though. Of course he would want his own kids to be strong, to be independent and strive to be their very best, but not at the sacrifice of love and comfort.

"I'm sorry you felt like those were things you couldn't have, but I'm glad you're comfortable enough to want them now. You never have to be ashamed of how you feel. Not with anyone, but especially not with me." Magnus says. 

Alec knows that, even if he forgets once and a while, but it's nice to hear just the same. 

“Obviously things are different now. My mom… she’s a completely different person. She’s the person I always wished she could be before. Better late than never, I suppose,” he gives a light laugh. “But I want you to promise me you’ll never let that happen with me. With us. I never want to carry that detachment home, not to you, and not to our kids, if we have them someday.” 

If Magnus is startled or at all put off by the casual mention of the possibility of having kids of their own one day, he doesn’t show it. In fact, the small, soft smile on his face hints to Alec that it’s something he’s considered more than the once or twice it came up in passing, like it is now. Never serious conversations, just nods to the potential. 

“Of course I won’t. But you won’t need me to, either. That isn’t the sort of person you are, Alexander, and you’re not going to make the same mistakes they made with you.” 

There’s an unwavering confidence in Magnus’ words. He believes them without a single doubt and Alec can tell, he can  _ feel _ the conviction behind them. 

Alec nods, laying down and feeling Magnus instinctively wrap himself around him, curling up against his back. 

This time when he closes his eyes and pictures children playing at a park it isn’t the family from earlier he sees in the back of his mind; this time it’s him, and Magnus, and a family of their own, and it’s perfect. 

**Author's Note:**

> ( Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell) while we all hang out waiting for someone to #SaveShadowhunters ! <3)


End file.
